I’m having a hard time letting go of this tree.  It’s dead.  But, I keep thinking…Maybe the Lord will resurrect it!  Maybe it will bud this year!  Oscar is ready to chop it down, but I don’t want him to. I don’t know why…I mean, it’s just a tree…


When I was in High School, I worked at nice restaurant in town as a Hostess.  I remember the owner was standing near by while I was seating a couple & as they walked in, I asked, “Just two tonight?”, they said “Yes”, & I showed them to a table.  When I came back the owner said, “Please don’t ask that again.  You can say ‘Two tonight?’ or ‘One tonight?’.  But, do not say ‘Just…’ they are our guests, they aren’t just a number & you don’t know their story.”

I was thinking about this the other day when someone told me that “you don’t understand, you just have two kids”.  I thought of my former boss.  Because he was right.  It’s never “just“.

I looked up the definition of the adverb “just”…simply; only; no more than.

It made me think.  We never know.  But God knows.

I am not just a wife, just a mom, just a…the list could go on.  We are not just a family of four.


For you, too.  You are not just anyone.  You are His.  Bought with a price.

{You are so much more than you know.}


And maybe that’s why I feel like it’s not just a tree.  To me it’s a symbol of a season where everything seemed to be dying & I’m just trying to hang on to some hope that He will breathe new life into this season again.

But, He’s teaching me, sometimes, you have to let go, plant some new seeds, & have faith that in this new season, a fresh anointing will fall & new life will spring forth.

No, it’s not just a tree.  It’s never just


This is us now…

Not sure why, maybe it’s because I need an outlet, a place to put a “voice” to some of the crazy that has been keeping me up at night…but at any rate. Here I am. I’m back. And I’ve changed. Thank you Lord, I’ve changed, and I am still changing. Thank you, again, Lord.


This is us now.  Well, within the last year.  We’ve changed a lot.  We’ve grown.  We’ve been tested.  We’ve mourned.  We’ve celebrated.  We’ve been refined.  We are still being refined.  We are learning to be real disciples…not just the scholarly type.  You may be offended by {or not agree with} what I type.  And I’m ok with that.  This is a record of a journey.  A beautiful journey.  I’m “setting up stones”, or recording stories, to remember where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going.  I’m expecting to grow more.  I’m expecting to be challenged more.  So here is where we are, and here is where we’ve been the last few years…

These past couple of years have been years of growth for our family. We welcomed sweet, spunky, all-around amazing, Alice to our fam on April 19, 2012.  She blesses my socks off daily.  Zane has been an awesome “big brother” to her, and I’ve seen him grow in awesome ways as well since her arrival on earth.  They are a JOY.  Yes, we have hard moments.  Yes, we have hard days.  Yes, we aren’t perfect.  Yes, I have more crazy moments than sane most days. Yes, I know some of our parenting methods are “different”. YES, we do read the Bible.  YES, we do pray for our kids, constantly.  YES, we live daily in the grace and mercy of our Savior.  Bless.  We are so blessed.

We found out in July of 2013 that we were expecting sweet babe #3. And on August 22nd of 2013, our sweet babe when to be with Jesus. Miscarriage is a precarious event. People do not really know how to act. But some people, some people DO know how to act. Some know how to pray (not just say they will, but actually take the time to pray, right then and there. That matters, folks. That matters a. lot.) and how to be there.  A baby is a baby no matter how small.  We prayed and we mourned and we knew God was sovereignly in control of our tiny lives.

Then, in February of 2014, we found out we were expecting sweet babe #4. (#4 because, again, all babies count. No matter what “age”.) And on March 13th of 2014 our sweet babe #4 went to be with Jesus. March was a tough month. March 2nd was our sweet babe #3’s “due” date. And some sweet friends also said “see you soon” to their sweet girl. The Lord is gracious. And oh so close the the broken hearted.  Thank you, Jesus.  Let me never forget these moments.

I am so grateful to friends who can have a babe whenever they will, and have a house full. Blessed. I know it’s a lot of work, blessed work. And I pray for you and the warriors you are raising.  But I am REALLY grateful for the sweet friends who have experienced loss, and who are brave to talk about it, and share in others’ grief. And pray, even when it brings up memories of hurt and loss, pray because you’ve been there.  Thank you. Thank for being there, and thank you for teaching me how to be brave. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being a safe place for me to grow and be real.

So here we go…

Slight hiatus…

Yes, yes, it’s true.  We are still alive.  Just a bit of a blogging hiatus.  Something about time, motivation, & inspiration lacking in the blog department.  So this is what we have been up to…

— Celebrated a very special 1st Birthday.

–Bought a house.

–Began working on said house (Tore up carpet, peeled off wallpaper, sanded floors, poly’d floors, sanded cabinets, & painted pretty much everything.)

–Got really worn out by working on said house.

–Found out that a Baby #2 {due 4/29/12-ish} was adding to the tiredness.

–Began chasing around a newly walking 1 yr old.

And that’s about it in a nutshell.  Here are some pictures of our Summer/Fall 2011.

Z’s 1st Birthday!
Our New Home. (The previous owners lived in the back half & had their dental clinic in the front half. We have’t don’t much to the front half…yet.)
Living Room *Before*
Living Room *Before*
Kitchen *Before*
Kitchen *Before*
Looking from Living Room into Dining Room/Kitchen *Before*
Living Room, after a lot of paint, floors refurbished, & popcorn ceiling scraped off.
Living Room, today.
Looking from Living Room into Dining Room
Kitchen, today. It’s amazing what paint will do.

The soon-to-be Big Brother.

And there you have it!  Until next time…


The other morning we were just kind of hanging out & I snapped this pic.  This is my family.  Aren’t they awesome?



I’m just so thankful for them.  They rock.

New Job, New Day

We’re back!  Well, we never technically left, but that’s neither here nor there.  The point is we’re back!  Ha.

The Mister started a new job on Monday.  Such an answer to prayer.  It’s not the job we thought we were moving here for, but it is a great job. 🙂  One thing we’ve been reminded of in the last 6 months, is that the Lord’s ways are wwwaaayyyyy above our ways, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.

The Mister’s new job is on a farm.  He is a farming Mister now. 🙂  He is working for a great family farming operation.  One of the perks (per-say) of this new job is Z & I get to accompany him on parts runs sometimes.

Yesterday, we road along to North Platte to get parts.  It was such a nice day, & so fun to spend the afternoon together.

Now brace yourself.  Here is a little photo montage of our mini road trip yesterday.


My guys.


Our entertainment.


A new expression. He melts me.


“Give me that camera.”


Nebraska landscape.




We had such a nice afternoon.  The Mister is loving his new job.  And, frankly, so are we.  🙂


Z’s Room

{Original post date:  10/12/10}

I had (was practically forced) to take some pics of Z in his room today, because he was sitting up like such a big boy in the rocking chair.  I’m sad to say, I think I’m turning into “that” mom.  Ugh.  But, he’s just so darn cute (in my humble not-at-all biased opinion)! 🙂

So here is Z in his current room (rocking out in the rocking chair…ha!) :

Zane just up from his nap.

He enjoys a good nap, just like his mama! (His legs are blurry because he was kicking them, his legs are rarely still when he is awake…)

He’s getting so big…3 months on Friday.

Ok, I’m done with the shameless baby photos.  🙂



{Original post date: 10/11/10}

An update.  Friends have been asking…so here you go!  We are finally feeling settled in SW Nebraska.  We are loving it out here.  It is crazy to be back in my home town, after not living here for 8 years.  I’m finding out some things do change, while others are definitely still the same.  Oh, the small town life.  🙂

We are renting a little apt from my folks.  It is attached to their house.  When I was in High School we (my mom, dad, bro & I) actually lived in it for about a year.  The part that is now where my mom & dad live was actually the garage/shop.  & the whole building was actually a pig barn to begin with (before my parents remodeled it). Ca-Ray-Zee.  I know.  Here are some pictures of our new space:

During the “project”


Our current little home.

View from front door.  The door to the left is our bedroom, to the right is Zane’s room.

View of kitchen/dining.  The closet to the left is where the laundry is, the grey door to the right leads to the house.
Kitchen/dining.  The door to the right is the bathroom.  The stove is my favorite. 🙂
View from kitchen of living area.  Dining & living furniture is the parents, most of our furniture is in storage right now.

My little sewing/creating corner. 🙂  (Don’t worry Oscar, has his guitars scattered about as well, & gets to play my mom’s electric drum set whenever he wants. (Yes, my mom plays the drums!) We’ve discovered Z is a fan of the drums as well, which makes his daddy very happy!) 🙂

So there ya go!  It’s small, but it’s good.  🙂 We are liking the simpler side of things.  It’s been a crazy year going from a 4 bedroom 2 bath home, to a 2 bedroom 1 bath condo, to a 2 bedroom 1 bath (600sqft) apt. 🙂  Downsizing is so good.  You don’t realize how much stuff you accumulate until it’s time to move!  We had way too much junk, too much clutter.

Anyway, I hope to share some pics of my parent’s house soon.  They did a great job on it – despite having a super slow contractor & despite having to do a lot of the finishing work themselves.  Oscar & I even got to help on some of the finishing work, which was a lot fun.  🙂 So nice of them to let us practice on them!

it’s been a while…

{original post date: 11/11/09}

oh my goodness. it is already the middle of NOVEMBER!…where did the summer & first part of fall go?….where did this year go?? oh my, how time flies when you’re havin’ fun. 🙂

life has been going, going, going for oscar & i. sometimes i wish i could press a pause button & just dwell in some moments. but i suppose the fact that they are so fleeting helps me to remember to enjoy & savor them all the more, eh?

in august we had a lovely gal move into our home to rent the room in our basement. she is a gem & a lot of fun to have around. i especially enjoy it, since the huz works a few nights a week. it’s nice to know there is someone else in the house too.

i also started “crafting” in august. i was in-between jobs for a couple weeks & decided i would take up a hobby. so, i made some bags for some friends’ birthdays, & made an apron for a friend who was getting married. i enjoy it. so i decided maybe i would try to make some things & take them to a craft show or two this fall. we will see how it goes…i’m learning new things everyday & oscar even found me this amazing singer machine at an estate sale the other day. total steal. & in great condition. it was bought in 1964 by the previous owner. (she still had the receipt in the manual…again, total steal! so fun!)

my first craft show “experience” is this saturday. i’m really nervous, but i think it will be a fun challenge. i’ve been “beefing” up my inventory this week…i still don’t feel ready. it’s a smaller show, so i thought it would be good practice. it’s a fun, new adventure none-the-less… 🙂

hope you have been enjoying a lovely fall!

finally getting there…

{Original post date: 5/11/09}

okie dokie…well, sorry it has been a couple weeks since an update…but as you will see…we’ve been busy! 🙂

first, since we decided to lay a new floor, we decided to take out the tile we had by the front door. we really liked the tile, but it was going to be a lot more work trying to work around it & make it look nice with the limited tools we have to work with. (don’t worry mom. we saved the tile for you!) 🙂

it was pretty messy trying to take the durock out…apparently mom & i did a good job putting it in a few years ago… 🙂

*oscar working on chipping away the durock…

*finally! but even though it looks fairly clean here, the basement was a MESS from the pieces of durock that fell through the cracks…

*after we got all of the durock cleaned up we installed floor board…

*the process begins!! knee pads -check!, 34 boxes of floor -check!, new 8 1/4 saw blade (that apparently no one uses anymore! & we had to go to almost all the stores in omaha to find!) -check!

we started 2 weekends ago & finished putting on quarter round this last weekend. out of everything, installing the quarter round was the most trying…but we made it! 🙂 if we ever do this again, we will be renting or buying a table saw…it would have made our lives A LOT easier. 🙂

here are a few pics of what it looks like now…still a work in process…but we are getting there!! 🙂 oscar & i are going to nashville this weekend for oscar’s birthday, & we have a friend staying at our house with the dogs so we wanted to have most of it done by the time we left…(now i just need to work on the 5 loads of laundry that i let pile up!!)

*sorry about the pictures, it was already dark & i had something on my lens (hense the random fuzzy dots.

story about the couch…yesterday, we went to pick it up from nebraska furniture mart. it was so exciting because it was wrapped in plastic & new!! 🙂 BUT!! when we got home & unwrapped it we found they sent us only 3 legs. it was fabulous. so, i called the mart & told them about our 3 legged couch. they said we could bring the couch back (after we just hauled it home & into the house) or we could prop it up with books & wait 2 weeks for a new leg to come in from the manufacturer. we were tired, so we opted to prop it with books & wait. so, we propped it up, made sure it was even & stable, put the cushions on…then i sat down for the first time. the couch kind of creaked, but oscar said it was because it was new. ha! then oscar sat down & it BROKE straight down the center!!!! THE COUCH BROKE IN HALF!!! HA! we just sat there & looked at each other & i said “REALLY?”. i then called the mart…AGAIN. they said we could bring it back & get a new one…i said they could come & get it because it was really quite ridiculous. they said they couldn’t until thursday. i said, we will be gone. they said then next tuesday would be the soonest. i said, we would bring it back. (i’m such a push over.) anyway…oscar & his brother are taking it back today. we are going to try the same style again, but i told them if anything happens to the next one, i want a full refund. ha.

*the broken couch in our living room. 🙂

*the new chair we got from craigslist! a wingback recliner! 🙂 the leather is a bit worn, but it was a good deal. (now i just need to learn how to upholster…ha!)

*i think lokita & ludwig like it… 🙂

well that is the update for now…i need to work on laundry & get packed for our trip! 🙂 we are also making a stop at ikea…which i’m a little stoked about. 🙂